proustbot: (liz)
[at a bar]
MOM: "Do you have any...cider?"
BARTENDER: "Well, yes, ma'am, but it comes in a pretty big bottle..."
MOM: "Oh..."
BARTENDER: "See, it's like this..." [pulls out a 22-oz bottle of Crispin]
MOM: "Oh! Yes, that'll be fine. I thought you were talking about a 2-liter bottle or something, but that, yes, I can drink that!"

And then she did.

The Weed that Strings the Hangman's Bag, NOT What a Carve-Up, and A Red Herring Without Mustard )
proustbot: (Floreat Etona)
BROTHER: how is life in Lauren towne?

ME: pretty good
ME: although I just got a puzzling e-mail from a professor
ME: I sent him an e-mail asking if I could sit in on one of his classes this summer
ME: and I promised to be inconspicuous
ME: and he wrote back to say, "You may be as conspicuous as you like, but no burning hair."

BROTHER: your reputation precedes you
proustbot: (liz)
ME: my roommate showed me "Up," which I had not previously seen
ME: although every time I talk to Dad, he talks about how it is the saddest movie ever made

CHRIS: so what makes Up sad?
CHRIS: it looks like a delightful computer-animated romp

ME: the first ten minutes
ME: afterwards: non-stop romping
ME: imagine bambi's mother dying in the first ten minutes
ME: followed by eighty minutes of Thumper

CHRIS: hahaha
proustbot: (Liberty Leading the People)
GRANDMOTHER: "What are you watching? Are these home movies?"

SISTER: "Uh, no. This is Assassin's Creed II."
proustbot: (Default)
[after a trip to the used bookstore]

MOTHER: "Now, don't get your books mixed up with mine."

FATHER: "I think they'll be easy to separate. The only bodice-ripping in my books happens when an alien explodes through someone's chest."

hi, chris

Jan. 2nd, 2008 10:07 am
proustbot: (Default)
BROTHER: "You look nice."

ME: [long pause] "...I'm wearing the clothes I wore yesterday. I haven't had a shower in two days. And I slept on the floor last night, so I'm covered in pet hair. But good try, dude. Good try."

BROTHER: "Well, at least you're not wearing the cat shirt any longer. I see the effort, is all I'm saying!" [pause] "Wait, you slept on the floor?"
proustbot: (liz)
FATHER: [to me] "And the last time I managed to get you to do something that you didn't want to do, you were twelve. And even that was a Pyrrhic victory!"

A Countess Below Stairs, Interpreter of Maladies, When Chickenheads Come Home To Roost )

The Barra MacNeils, "Christmas Comes But Once a Year"
proustbot: (liz)
I went to a family reunion this weekend.

BROTHER: "So, I'm torn between my desire to look respectable and my desire to self-medicate."
ME: "But everyone here has been self-medicating since this morning. They won't notice your respectability."
BROTHER: "True! Time for another Shiner Bock!"

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, White Apples, and The Time of the Ghost )


proustbot: (Default)

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