proustbot: (young and drinking in the park)
Three years ago, I did one of those little "year in review" questionnaires that used to be all the rage. Today, it amused me to fill it out again re: 2015, the little year that could.

2015 in Review )
proustbot: (young and drinking in the park)

On Sunday there was a lunar eclipse of a blood moon. It had been cloudy all evening, so I didn't think it would be visible, but when I left the house at 9:30 pm to trudge grimly to campus, the skies had cleared and the moon -- orange and smudged with darkness -- was there.

So I listened to Night on Bald Mountain as I walked through the night and watched the moon hanging above me. Behind my department building is a dark little area -- grass and a decorative pond, shielded by trees on three sides and completely without lampposts or lights. It would be a great place to commit a murder, and it was there that I stretched out on the cool grass and crossed my arms behind my head and watched the eclipse proceed, bit by bit, to the sounds of Bernard Herrmann's Psycho soundtrack.

I was on Day 4 or 5 of severe sleep deprivation, and all day, if I moved my head too suddenly, I had experienced a split second of vertigo. I experienced those moments of dizziness again as I lay there, and I stretched out further -- with the voice of my old yoga teacher trilling vertebra by vertebra as I did so -- and as gray clouds drifted across the corrupted face of the moon, I thought, And this, too, shall pass.


I realized this week my current depressed funk lines up precisely with the anniversary of last year's depressed funk, and the agent of my low-level despair is, in fact, identical.

Last year, I clutched little crumbs of comfort to my heart when I could and spent a lot of time lying to myself about said agent's motivations. And crying by myself. Admittedly last year's fall also featured "seasonal affective disorder" and "living alone, the worst idea," so there were some contributing factors. But last October was generally wretched, and its only bright spots were a) a glorious phantasm, b) apple-picking, and c) getting very drunk with M. in the worst bar in our neighborhood.

This year, two-thirds of those comforts are cut off from me (although drinking with M. remains an evergreen occupation). This year, I want to be wiser and stronger and squint into what is, in fact, the identical sad-making scenario based on the identical sad-making circumstances and whisper, "Nope, not this time."

These are the things I want.


This afternoon, as I wandered into the library in a state of general dishevelement, I ran into B., who was coming up the stairs with Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Risky Business in hand.

"Hey!" I said. "When's your test?"

"It was this morning," B. said. "It didn't go very well."

"Oh, well, I'm sure it was...better than you think..."

He shrugged. "Can I have a hug? I think I really need a hug right now."

"Sure," I said, glancing at the coffee cup in my left hand and the umbrella in my right. "Sure, come on in here, honeybunny."

He hugged me gingerly and then stepped back. "Was that a weird request? I'm sorry if it was a weird request."

"No, dude, it was fine," I said. "Don't worry about your test any more. Go watch your movies."

He put his hand on the door and then paused, turning back to me. "Do you want to come to the H. tonight? Some of us are going..."

"Um," I said, because this was clearly a group outing from which I had been excluded, though B. had not realized it. "No, no, I can't, sorry."

"Okay," he said, peacefully oblivious. "See you later."

Then I went down to my carrel and rested my forehead against the cool desk and thought, This month is going to be wretched too, I see.


Then I made plans to go hang out with my brother.
proustbot: (young and drinking in the park)
Me and How I Met Your Mother )

How I Met Your Mother 1x01-1x03: Pilot, Purple Giraffe, and Sweet Taste of Liberty )

Um, this got longer than I thought it would. What can I say? I like How I Met Your Mother.
proustbot: (everybody's crazy about a sharp-dressed)
I turned over the keys to my apartment on August 13 and jetted down to the parental homestead for ten days of video games and sisterly bonding.

Dragon Age II, Tales of Xillia, and Skyrim )

On August 22, I flew back North to attend a dissertation defense and hassle H., followed by hijinks in Philly with TDR. I killed some time in DC, and then I came back for five nights of sleeping on the floor of The Dude's and Wife E's new apartment. When originally laying out my plans during the summer, I had budgeted a lot of dead time in the States, in case my Spanish visa proved difficult or obstreperous. Instead, I got my visa in record time and spent a lot of time wishing that I had planned differently, gone ahead to Spain, avoided the vagabond life of my current existence. But that regret faded in my last week of Baltimore -- it was worth it to finally be able to see Wife E again after a year of separation, and it was worth it to spend quality time with Ys, who will probably be gone when I return (if I return) next year.

And then I flew to Spain -- not the country of my heart, not exactly, but definitely a country within which I can comfortably live for the next year (or longer). Hurray for field years.
proustbot: (the best hill driven by black wine)
[at the Other Neighborhood Bar]

HARVARD: "Yeah, I rocked a soul patch through two girlfriends and two break-ups; that was my commitment to terrible facial hair. One day, when we're better friends, I'll show you pictures."

ME: [dead-eyed] "...when we're better friends? Oh boy. What do I have to do to reach that level? Rescue you from a burning building? Give you a kidney?"

HARVARD: [beat] "Okay, fair enough. One day, when we're not surrounded by glasses of beer and I can take out my laptop, I'll show you pictures."
proustbot: (et je veux ta revanche)
E: "Hey, whose sneakers are these?"

ME: "I dunno. Maybe they belong to A.'s boyfriend?"

E: "Oh... I thought maybe you were having a secret affair with H. And that these belonged to him."

ME: "Um, we live together. How would I keep an affair a secret from you? Wouldn't you notice someone the apartment...all the time..?"

E: "Well, that's the thing! You're tired of keeping it a secret! You just wanted to let me know! And the sneakers were just your first subtle move!"

ME: "Yeahhhhh... Next, you'll start finding hip-hop CDs and Members Only jackets all over the house."

E: "Then I'll just start finding you in different places in the apartment, and you'll be looking down at tiny framed portraits of H. And sighing."

And then E.'s boyfriend decided that our conversation was done and that our laughter was immoderate.
proustbot: (Butterfly)

[via email]

T: "So I found this book in the library that you might know? By [So-and-So]?

ME: "Oh, man! [So-and-So]! I didn't even know she was still publishing. Does the book look any good?"

T: "My manly and thorough assessment is: the cover is pretty."


[via gchat]

H: i took over the dance floor and music at 2 am
H: and it got turned to 11

ME: hahahaha
ME: well, I'm glad it was a good weekend for dancing for everybody

H: oh, for sure
H: every weekend is a dancing night for me
H: hell, every night i dance
H: just mostly in my kitchen
proustbot: (clint eastwood)

DARWIN: [staring down at my stocking feet] "Awesome socks as usual, dude."

ME: "...have you ever seen me in socks before?"

DARWIN: "Maybe not? Maybe I just assumed, given everything else I know about you, that you had a bitchin' sock collection."


VICTORIA: "Yeah, so when my mother was a little girl in Detroit, her neighbors were ham-radio operators. And sometimes their radio conversations would get accidentally picked up by her television. One of them was called "Hot Dog." And...I've forgotten what the other one was called..."

[Victoria calls her mother and has a muffled conversation]

VICTORIA: "All right, Mom says that the other guy's call sign was 'Dolly Dimples.'"


PROFESSOR: "And he teaches at that school up there...starts with a W..."

ME: "It's Wheaton."

PROFESSOR: "That's an all-girl's school, right?"

THE DUDE: "No, you're thinking of Wellesley."

SUFFOLK: [maliciously] "No, I think you're thinking of Wesleyan."


EVERYONE ELSE IN THE CLASS: [high-fiving Suffolk]

SUFFOLK: "I mean...all those W places up there in gets confusing."

proustbot: (Liberty Leading the People)

[SCENE: It's noon. A. and I just got home to find The Dude at our kitchen table. We prepare to start baking cookies. He is still in his PJs.]

ME: "Should we start drinking? I think we should start drinking. Hey, Dude, do you want a beer?"

THE DUDE: "Well, I think...guys, I think that I shouldn't start drinking for the day until I take a shower at least, you know?"

ME: "Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good rule of thumb. For life."


SUFFOLK: "I swear, if he does not wear a tux, I'm going to beat him to death with a chair."


ME: "So my mother thought that your facebook profile picture was actually a picture of you..."

FORMER ROOMMATE: "Really? Oh man, I can imagine that call home: 'Hey, Mom! My roommate is really cool! He's from Peru! He has a beard, he's kind of short...and he's fifty years old.'"
proustbot: (walk of shame/terror)
H: "You know, like those...what are those people called? The ones who dress up like animals? And have sex?"

ME: "Furries?"

H: "...You came up with that answer way too fast, man."
proustbot: (Our sole remaining neighbor was the sky)
[SCENE: my roommate E. was just diagnosed with mono]

ME: "I'm just impressed that you're still...upright, you know? I feel as if most people with mono are bed-ridden for weeks."

H: "Eh. I had mono once. It was a bad weekend. And then I cut back on my work a little bit, and it was no big deal."

EVERYONE ELSE: [staring at him]

E: "Are you serious?"

H: "Wait, I didn't mean--"

ME: "You conquered mono on the strength of willpower alone?"

H: "You guys, hold on, that's not--"

D: "[H.] is a Nietzschean superman!"

H: "Guys, seriously, all I'm saying is: Mono and I had a staring contest, and Mono blinked."
proustbot: (Butterfly)
We went to see Real Steel tonight, because we had a hankering for boxing robots. I gather that Wellington was somewhat underwhelmed, but I thought it was probably as good a robot-boxing movie as has ever been made. Also, I was sitting between Gosling and P., and we giggled like school-girls throughout it.

Two immortal lines:

"No, no. The money's gone. I used it to buy a robot."

"What? Did you think that you, me, and the robot were just going to ride off into the sunset together?"
proustbot: (liz)

D: "I find that Nicholas Kristof is becoming increasingly insufferable."

ME: "..."

D: [dangerously] "Go ahead. Say it."

ME: "Sounds like the caption to a New Yorker cartoon!"

D: "I knew you were going to say that."

ME: "Only, in the cartoon, we're both dressed as rodeo clowns."


ME: "Well, you know, once I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die."

V: "Dude. Everything you say is either a line from Johnny Cash or The Big Lebowski."

ME: "The good things in life!"


H: "Oh, man. She's always talking to me. For hours. Late at night. I think I'm in trouble. Could you just talk to your roommates and get them to tell her that I'm an asshole?"

ME: "Well...I think they'll do that anyway. Without me asking them."
proustbot: (et je veux ta revanche)
[H. steps out of the room and returns after five minutes]

H:" So R. tells me that you were just talking shit about me."

ME: "What? No! I mean, it was R! He was talking way more shit than I was!"

H: "Interesting. I didn't actually talk to R. I just heard you cackling when I was walking down the hall, and I figured that's what you were doing."

ME: "...dammit. You know me too well."
proustbot: (Default)
[From an email I just sent regarding tonight's dance mix]
I am hungover, wearing a stolen hoodie, and cooking chicken stock, so it is clearly the right time to put together a dance mix. I tried to go for the obvious in my selections.

1. Harry Belafonte, "Jump in the Line"

2. Men Without Hats, "Safety Dance"

3. Chuck Berry, "You Never Can Tell"

4. a-ha, "Take On Me"

5. Peter Gabriel, "Sledge Hammer"

6. Professor Longhair, "Go to the Mardi Gras"

(Things reluctantly left off this list: Hall & Oates, Nick Lowe, Tricky, Ted Leo, Queen, Split Enz, and EYE OF THE TIGER.)


proustbot: (Default)

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